Ah hell yeah, Nutaku. It’s been a while. I feel like I’ve been reviewing nothing but actual pussy for the last two weeks. I need some colored titties in my life. They say that going without any porn games for more than a week is enough to drive any man insane. I mean, I guess you can get away with it if you’re also getting laid and that’s what keeps me alive. But, if I were stranded alone in a remote location with an internet connection, you know I’d spend half my time playing porn games. They’re the only games worth playing. Well, them and Skyrim with titty mods. Those are the two types of games worth playing.Right here, we’ve got the latest and greatest from Nutaku. An Android exclusive called SF Girls. The SF probably stands for science fiction, since this game takes place in space. I like to pretend it stands for slut fucking. Because I like to fuck sluts. And boy, there sure are a lot of sluts in this game for you to fuck. But, this being a Nutaku title and all, you have to do a thousand boring things first to earn the pussy. You get some free pussy at the start of the game; then you have to work your way up through the ranks. You’ve played Nutaku games before. You know how these gachas work. Do you know how the gachas getcha, get it? First, they tease you; then you see the nudity, then they casually encourage you to perhaps consider spending some money. It’s just the cost of doing business.The Story of SF GirlsI’ll give you my version of events, because if I just cover it as is, I’ll probably get flagged for plagiarism. Plus, the story is more fun if I tell it using my colorful interpretive language. The story takes place somewhere in the middle of sweet fuck all, in a galaxy far, far away. Three centuries after the discovery of a powerful, magical and mysterious giant testicle, some whack shit goes down. For 300 years, the magical powers of the aforementioned testicle have kept humanity safe and hopeful. How? Why? I haven’t a fucking clue. Apparently, humanity was all savage and out of control, but ever since the giant magical testicle arrived, they sort of mended their ways and became peaceful and shit.That is, until current year. After exactly 312 years of peace, invaders have come to claim the magical giant testicle and destroy life as you know it. You firmly believe in the value of said giant testicle and even though you are no more than a young and inexperienced military commander, you must recruit prostitutes to fend off all manner of strange creatures that are on their way, armed and dangerous.The Menu GameplayBeing a gacha and all, this game has several game modes that swap in-between one another and I will be starting with what is arguably the most important one – the main menu. It’s the section in-between the combat and the sex scenes and it’s where you go to spend money. But, also, it’s where you recruit prostitutes to fight in a war for you. You also get to equip items and optimize your builds so that you don’t go in limp-dicked and under-armed.You mostly get bombarded with free items and open them to find random shit inside. This shit can range from jewelry, to alcoholic beverages to actual useful things like weapons and medicine. Whatever, man. I just use what the game tells me is best and roll forward. This game doesn’t really seem to have much of a challenge to it. For the most part, you just play until you run out of energy. Then, you have to pay real money to keep playing. Or, maybe I’m misunderstanding what these stats stand for. I don’t think you get locked out of the game at any point. But, you do hit a paywall regardless. Eventually, you have to spend money.Gachas Get YaThis game has a lot of prostitutes inside. I call them prostitutes, really, they’re chicks with guns. But, they’re nude like 99% of the time and they fuck you for jewels, so what the fuck am I supposed to call them? Soldiers? They ain’t soldiers, fam, they’re clearly prostitutes. At best, they’re geishas. Anyways, there are a lot of whores in this game and they’re all really hot. Problem is, not all whores are made equal. Some of them have giant tits, others have even bigger tits. Go figure. Oh and also they all have different stats that affect the gameplay and this is super important information that you’ll need in order to progress in the game when shit gets hard. No biggie.To get your hands on the absolute best bitches in the game, you have to gamble. Why not just straight-up buy them? Well, because this is a gacha. If they let you straight up buy shit, you’d drop $100 on the game and never pay again. You’d play it through and through on $100. That’s … still extremely expensive, but, they’re banking on the hope that you get hooked and spend ten times that trying to get your hands on one particular pair of tits. I guess it’s working for them, though. This game’s successful as fuck.The CombatI actually expected to see a lot more gameplay out of this part of the game. I had seen the previews before I played it and I figured it looked a lot like Plants Vs. Zombies. I know they call it a tower defense game, but that’s kind of inaccurate. Not by a lot, it’s still pretty damn close, but it’s more of an exact clone of Plants Vs. Zombies than it is a casual tower defense game. You have slots to plop your girls on and the enemies enter in lanes from right, moving to the left. The girls do their thing automatically and you hope you’ve done enough to finish the level. That’s it. It’s quite literally Plants Vs. Zombies with prostitutes.You’d think there’d be a challenge in how you place the babes, but that really doesn’t seem to be the case. You can place them at random; you’ll still do fine. The real challenge is in the actual babes you unlock, which is either luck-based or money-based. And, since this is a gacha, you can’t just pay for success. You have to gamble. Either for free or for money.The Smut ScenesTrue to the formula, you get one long drawn out sex scene at the start of the game, then a few in the next hour and then … nothing, for a while, until you unlock each girl’s full progression. They are growing increasingly fonder of you as time goes on. So, the more you fight, the more they level up and the likelier you are to see them naked. On top of that, there are also important story moments when you get scenes that you would see regardless, when you wrap up a chapter or whatever.They’re extremely hot uncensored hentai scenes, so I have zero gripes with them. There’s also this faux 3D element they threw in. I don’t mind it at all. If anything, it makes the scenes seem more lifelike. They’re just 2D artworks plastered on a canvas, but you can shift them around a bit and it makes them seem… better, somehow. Either way, you’ll be jacking off. These are great scenes worth the effort. I don’t know if they’re worth money, but they’re definitely worth blowing a load to. The style is classic hentai with a western touch. That touch, of course, being the nipples and pussies. They’re hotter than the average second-rate hentai you might have seen in the past.The Art StyleIn general, this is a very well-drawn game. The gameplay features cute versions of the babes you’ll be deflowering later on in HD. The cute versions might be tiny and cartoonish, but they still have breasts that are bigger than their heads, so it all evens out. Sometimes I wonder how these women manage to stay upright. You’d think they’d gravitate and have to walk upside down. They’d certainly sink with their heads underwater if you threw them in the ocean. Those tits do not float. They’re not fake. There’s a ton of mass there.Speaking of titties, I give them a 10. They’re all gorgeous. They range from massive to absolutely colossal. There are even a couple of younger-looking girls, who are clearly supposed to be mature teenagers, but they still manage to pull off a double-D at the least. I give this game five erections out of seven and I encourage you to try it out. It’s free, it’s on Android and your phone should be able to run it just fine.
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