Reddit 50/50 Challenge
Reddit 50 50 Challenge, aka r/FiftyFifty! One of the defining features of pornography is the fact that it ain’t necessarily safe for public consumption. Naked ladies getting boned were Not Safe For Work before anybody coined the acronym, NSFW. It’s that taboo element that has gotten fuck flicks classified among just about anything you wouldn’t show to good company: tasteless skin disease photos, fight videos, and security cam footage of fatal accidents come to mind. You’ll find both the naked ladies and the gore at FiftyFity, a Reddit forum that often asks you to risk your lunch for a potential peek at something nice.“Because Choices Matter” is the motto at this subreddit, and goddamn, do they make it clear in basically every single post on the fucking page. This is a weird-ass game that you definitely shouldn’t play at work, unless you want to bump up the consequences from a bit of nausea to a full-fledged firing. The subreddit has 1.3 million members, and 2 thousand of them were online when I visited. It looks like these risky clicks are a popular pastime.Another NSFW Reddit to Eat Your TimeI’m going to guess most of you perverts are already familiar with Reddit, as it’s one of the most popular websites on the entire Internet. They get 1.4 billion visits every month, and I bet you’re one of them. The sprawling message board hosts discussions on everything under the sun, from anime to Japanese video games, ninja swords to the benefits of growing a thick and luxurious neckbeard.And of course, a shit-ton of NSFW subreddits. You’ve seen my full list of them, right? They’ve “cleaned up” and got rid of some good shit over the years. However, the place is still a goldmine of perversion, sex memes, and conversations about different types of masturbatory implements, often based on anime characters.Which brings us to r/FiftyFifty. I bid you farewell and good luck if you’re going to try to fap to this thing. Yeah, there’s some sex in there, but you’re more likely to be met with a dude getting run over, a horse’s vagina, or a finger in a penis than you are with a hot chick getting her butt fucked. Maybe you’ll get lucky and just see a sleeping puppy dog, a video game poster, or a Christmas card. That’s the random nature of the game, get it?If you’re the type of freak who whips out your dick to my section of Extreme Porn Sites, some of this shit might really get you going. Does seeing a bone stick out of a wound make your bone hard as a rock? Are explosions of diarrhea your shortcut to blasts of cum? Well, come on in! This will be better than a hentai game for you. For the rest of you, this is going to be more like a game of Russian roulette.Kittens or Buttholes, Doggies or DeathPeople think that as The Porn Dude, I spend my days surfing porn and jacking off randomly, without any kind of self-control or daily routine at all. That’s bullshit. I’m actually pretty careful and efficient with my fap time. That’s why I rubbed out a few before I even pulled up r/FiftyFifty. If this thing fucks me up for the rest of the day, at least I’ll have eliminated my daily quota of unborn children.The top post right now, with around 2.6k upvotes, is either a man getting beaten up by a gorilla (the NSFW option), or it’s the underside of a frog (if it turns out to be SFW). As with the rest of the pics on the sub, the photo is blurred out on the front page. Clicking is the only way to find out what it is.Given the way I beat the living hell of my own snake every day, I’m okay with a little bit of zoological violence. I didn’t cringe as I clicked through to reveal… a tree frog, photographed from the opposite side of the glass it's chilling on.I was a little more hesitant to click on the next one. If I didn’t see a beautiful view of some marine park in Japan, I was going to have to see a dude get brutally run over on the highway. Is your cock throbbing? Mine did a scared turtle thing as I investigated the scene, which turned out to be an innocuous seaside photograph. It looks peaceful as hell, which may well have put me at ease when I shouldn’t have been.WTF Have I Gotten Myself Into?The next 50/50 I looked at was a pretty stark contrast. If luck was on my side, I’d see lit scenes at a festival. If luck were against me, I’d see a man killing himself.Before I clicked through to the big reveal, I wondered how jaded I’d become and why. Is it my constant daily viewing of teenage deflowerings, elderly gangbangs, and brutal, unlubricated anal fistings? Or is it more indicative of our internet culture as a whole, the way it seemingly unites us while isolating people in a historically unprecedented way? Have we become dehumanized thanks to violence in the media and pop culture? Or has the deep economic stratification of our society given us all a bloodlust meant to somehow ameliorate our own existential misery?Or maybe you and me are just thrill-seeking freaks, huh? You’ve got to break up the ass-to-mouth and tentacle rape scenes somehow. With that in mind, I clicked to reveal a video thumbnail of a dude in a third-world country standing on top of some kind of big-ass, third-world electrical apparatus. A more cowardly or wholesome man may not have clicked the Play button, but I’d come too far not to find out what was going to happen. For all I knew, this was still going to be a lit scene at a festival; a group of bystanders are gathered beneath, so perhaps he’s the DJ.I clicked Play. There’s no music to the frantic yelling coming from the crowd. The DJ or suicidal man makes some gestures to the audience, either arguing or pumping them up. It looks like he smiles for a moment before grabbing a metal thing near his head. A big explosion lights up his body, and he falls, limp, from the platform. The crowd yells louder, and an older man collapses against another, distraught.Look, I don’t know how festivals work out in the desert, but we usually mean something different when we say it was lit. It’s typically more of metaphor for an exciting time than the DJ actually blowing up in a flash of an electrical fire.Okay, Where Exactly is the Porn?After that, I kind of wanted a good hardcore porno chaser to wash out my eyeballs. The trouble was, I’m still at FiftyFifty. There’s definitely an addictive quality to this, and a genuine thrill of not knowing whether you’re going to see something truly awful. Yeah, I still don’t get it either, but I did go looking for at least an opportunity to see some sex.The sexual 50/50s aren’t all that sexy, though. One offered the possibility of viewing the perfect sandwich, only to reveal a guy’s scrotum caught in his zipper. Another time I saw a guy’s finger in his goddamn urethra, and I still don’t understand why I clicked; if it would have gone better for me, I only would have seen some fucking jellybeans.I kept scrolling, looking for some potential porno. Finally, I found either a beautiful sunset or a vagina grater. I’m not sure what that latter one is, but I certainly hoped it was a huge dick pounding away at a tight cunt.Nope. It was a woman with a cheese grater in her twat. At least she wore sexy nylons, though.My trip to Reddit’s FiftyFifty board was more fun than I was expecting. It might give you a thrill similar to gambling, though the stakes are more psychological than monetary. That said, it’s one of the NSFW subreddits that ain’t all that great for masturbating unless you like cranking it to gore. I’d recommend it as a cheap and simple time waster while you’re recharging between wank sessions.