Indian escorts from Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Delhi,... Looking to get laid in India, eh? It’s hard, huh? Yeah, not to be a dick or anything, but Indian culture is pretty reserved when it comes to freaky sex. They’re not shaking titties in your face like the sluts in the West. That’s why I was pretty surprised to find out Locanto has an extensive selection of escorts, strippers, and erotic massages in India.Locanto, for those unaware, is a classified site for buying and selling things locally. You can use it to offer guitar lessons, or you can use it to find some hot, sexy action. I’d normally load up Locanto.com for escorts around me, but today I’m looking at Locanto.net, where the Indian broads are. Hit my link below to skip to the personals and follow along.That Is A Ton of Indian SlutsGiven what little I know about India, I figured Locanto’s selection of babes would be limited to a dozen or so escorts, spread around just a couple of the bigger cities. Holy fucking shit, was I wrong. Loading up the front page of the Personal Services India section, I’m greeted with 999+ results. The full number is too big for us to see.Over on the left sidebar, there’s an area to CHOOSE LOCATION. The thing is, every single location also has a metric fuck-ton of listings. Bangalore 999+, Hyderabad 999+, Jaipur 999+, Mumbai 999+. The list runs a couple of dozen deep on the front page, or you can click through for additional locations. Don’t worry, Locanto’s not going to leave you hanging.Some escort sites have completely naked whores right on the front page, spreading out their twats, smiling seductively and trying to get you to part with your hard-earned cash. Depending on where you are in the world, you might be browsing from a menu of clothed women. It’s also very common to see entire sites where every single escort face is blurred out or covered in cartoon flowers.I don’t see any of this on Locanto, at least not where I landed. Beside each listing where a photo should be is a plain gray box with a male/female symbol or mask icons. Most have little cameras in the corner, indicating a photo or two within, but nothing is visible out front.It really boils down to Locanto’s total function as a website. This wasn’t a platform built specifically for connecting Johns with prostitutes, so basic features you’d expect on an escort site aren’t really implemented. Having to click through to see pictures is a real bummer and would be a deal-breaker if there were more options.Narrowing Down the Escort OptionsEven if there were fewer initial offerings than 999+, I’d know I wasn’t quite in the right section of Locanto just from the top listing. It’s in Mumbai, and I’m pretty fucking far from Mumbai, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that it’s an urgent listing seeking a male escort and playboy.Actually, I’m going to come back and look at this when I’m done writing my review. I’m supposed to be getting you laid here, but damn, this is an enticing offer. The post has some photos of hot chicks who need cock and will pay big bucks for it. Oh, this is definitely fully legit, and won’t end with your body being chopped up and stuffed in a suitcase.The Personals Services listings actually encompass a theoretically wide range of options. There are Escorts, Male Escorts, Transexual Escorts, BDSM/Fetish, Massages, Strippers, Bars/Clubs, Erotic Photography, Jobs, Phone/Cam, Other Personals Services, and Website Promotions. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t want to stick my dick in a flyer for a some asshole’s blog. The papercuts were far too severe last time.I have to assume the options got narrowed down because that’s how these things work, but Locanto is still saying I have 999+ Results in Escorts India. The CHOOSE LOCATION options also still list 999+ each. An overabundance of poon for sale isn’t the worst thing in the world, right?Next, I checked the box to limit my searches to Ads with Pictures Only. You’d be surprised how many escort listings on Indian Locanto don’t have photos. Where I live, that would be unthinkable. Nobody wants to hire a whore sight-unseen when there are plenty with hot photos.The results were still overwhelming. Some of the specific locations have been trimmed down slightly. Vijayawada is apparently a sexless wasteland with only 775 listings for escorts.Bang a Teen in Allahabad TodayThe best escort sites have advanced search and sort options that let you dial in exactly the type of girl you want. It’s easiest to get excited when you can choose a girl’s body type, her breast size, hair and eye color, and whether or not she has piercings or tattoos.Locanto’s design as a general classified ad site shines through again in the near-total lack of sort options. I can search ads with pictures only, which I’ve already done, or I can throw a search term in the bar. The one and only other option is the age range.With no other options to whittle down the stack, I narrowed it down to only babes ages 18 through 19. Call me a pervert, but I really just like ripe fruit. Locanto, bless its heart, still served up 999+ teenage escorts across India.The cities, at least, have much more manageable numbers now. After some quick Googling in search of cheap flights, I clicked Bangalore to peruse their 97 escorts. I knew I made the right decision as soon as the page loaded up, which is good news since my plane ticket is non-refundable.Hot Indian Escorts Delivered 24-7The sponsored ads at the top really stand out. The pictures are fucking tiny, but they’re photos of women. I don’t see those beside the main listings. All these top ads I clicked on were for agencies, and the girls were all absolutely beautiful. One offers a stable of college students working for pocket money. Let me fund your way through engineering school, Vaishnavi, you gorgeous thing.Once you’ve got your babe search dialed in a little better like this, you’ll see more listings with TOP in the corner and/or a VIP crown icon in that stupid box where a photo really should be. These honestly don’t tell you much about the girls.Remember, Locanto is a classified ad site. You’re not getting better quality because you go with a VIP chick. Those ads are only getting preferential treatment from the website because those users paid more money. One might argue that having cash to invest in ads means a higher quality product, but your mileage may vary.Since there are no photos out front except for those premium spots at the top, the only way to browse is to see which broken-English post title catches my eye. Do I want 24X7 DOOR STEP SERVICE FOR GUANINE GIRLS, Sexy Garls, or Without Condom Blowjob With Deep Seking?First I check out a listing that includes the “words” BIGBOB, B2B, and WILD HARDFK. The girl looks fine as hell and like a bit of a freak. In one photo, she’s wearing a tutu and sticking out her tongue, showing off some ample fucking cleavage.There’s a message at the top of the posting that says “Expired ad. Please do not contact!” I’m honestly not sure if I’m meant to believe this. Her phone number and Whatsapp are listed, as are here prices and location. Fuck that expired message; I’m calling this slut!I do like that once I’ve found my preferred prostitute, I don’t have to give Locanto any of my own info to get hers. There’s no registration or login required, which is great news if you’re trying not to leave crumbs.I really hated how much work it took to find the girl, though. If there were other options, I’d definitely recommend checking them out. Locanto’s major flaw is that it wasn’t built specifically for buying and selling sexual services, so it lacks very basic features you’d normally expect. Unfortunately, your options for finding a hooker in India are very limited, so Locanto may be your last resort.