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Cat3Movie

Cat3Movie.org popped up in my inbox this morning, and just based on the name, I had no fucking idea what to expect. Most of the porn sites I review have some clue in their title about what kind of smut they’re peddling and in what format, a “lesbian” here and a “tube” there with a sprinkling of XXXs throughout. Based on the name here, I thought maybe this was some kind of instructional site for the neckbeards who show up in tactical gear to fix your Internet. As you’ve probably already guessed, I wouldn’t be reviewing the joint here at ThePornDude if it was really all about networking cables.That said, Cat 3 Movie is a different type of site than what I normally spend my mornings shaking my dick at. This one goes just as well with a few bong hits and a bag of Funyuns as it does with snorting a Viagra and lubing up the ol’ rubber butthole. The old-schoolers who get nostalgic for the days of brick-and-mortar video rental stores are going to fucking love this, as will perverts with a dripping boner and a taste for the classics. Cat3Movie offers a free streaming video library of vintage erotica, exploitation flicks and rare movies from around the world. Their traffic has been growing to the tune of nearly a million visitors a month lately, so I knew I needed to learn firsthand what all the buzz was about.Getting Weird with Cat 3 MovieAt first glance, I wasn’t sure Cat3Movie was going to be of much interest to the average PornDude visitor. That’s not to say it looked like a boring place; it just seemed like the wrong kind of fun for my readers, who typically come by with their pants around their ankles and their dicks all covered in lube. The selection of New Movies at the top of the front page included shlocky old grindhouse titles and cheesy VHS relics full of monsters, aliens, and gun-toting badasses. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad from 1958 is getting the same front-page treatment as the 2003 Master P vehicle, Bad Bizness. Make them say uhh!Sure, there’s a lot of sex in some of these flicks, though it is certainly various in terms of explicitness. It rarely comes close to the hardcore nature of the material I usually review around here, but you can see some of the eroticism hinted at right there in the titles. Those female legs on the cover of Man in a Cocked Hat were probably scandalous when it was released in 1959, and there’s clearly some semi-SFW mid-90s sexual hilarity going on in Assault of the Party Nerds 2: The Heavy Petting Detective.To be honest, I bookmarked the page as soon as I saw all the cult horror and crime movies in the Cat3Movie.org collection. Bad film buffs and stoners alike can really fall down a rabbit hole here, because the collection runs deep and deeply weird. The size and scope of the catalog is impressive to say the least, and they’ve done a good job organizing it by country, year and category.I watched a few minutes of The Third Eye, a 1966 Italian film sometimes seen as a precursor to the Giallo flicks that exploded in the coming years. I clicked the Italy link in the movie’s Cat 3 Movie listing, which brought up 50 pages of spaghetti westerns, cannibal exploitation movies, blood-drenched crime thrillers and classic erotica.Let’s Talk Some EroticaI’ve been dancing around the fact a little bit, but you all know I wouldn’t be talking up the joint here if you couldn’t rub one out with Cat3Movie.org loaded up in your browser. The truth is, much of their catalog is devoted to classic porn and vintage erotica. On the front page, right beneath the fresh pickings under New Movies, you’ll find the most recent additions of Classic Erotica and Asia Erotica Movies.Hit the dropdown menu at the top to find a Category selection that reminds me of browsing the shelves at the old video shop. You’ve got a wide range of the typical genres like Comedy, Drama, Sci-Fi and Western, but there’s no set of saloon doors to push through to find the dirty stuff. That’s right at the top.There’s an Incest category, but most of the sex categories on Cat3Movie are a bit more general. The main difference between their Classic Porn and Classic Erotica sections seems to be the release date, the classics being on the older end of the spectrum. There’s a decent selection of Sex Education films, where you can learn a lot about how sex has been presented “educationally” over the decades. The explicit how-to videos of the current millennium are a far cry from the personal hygiene films of the ‘40s.There’s also a section at Cat3Movie.org called Newage Erotica. It’s kind of a weird title, but it’s kind of a weird site, so I get it. The Newage stuff is mostly material that came out between the very late ‘90s and 2010 or so. In other words, it’s more recent than the Classic Porn/Erotica on the site, but isn’t as fresh as the pirated paysite material you find on other sites.The movies on Cat 3 Movie are hosted on video streaming sites like Doodstream, which is something a lot of the piracy tubes do to circumvent copyright restrictions. It doesn’t have the same stolen vibe, though, mostly on account of how old the content is. Some of it has definitely fallen out of copyright, if were ever protected at all. A good example is the recently added Bat Pussy, sometimes cited as the world’s first parody porn movie, which was found in a box of abandoned pornos in the ‘90s; nobody even knows who made it or who starred in it, let alone who it belongs to.Weird and Sexy Flicks Every DayI mentioned Bat Pussy because it was relevant to the topic at hand, but also because it literally just popped up on the front page. Since I started writing this review, about a dozen more movies have been added to the pile. Cat3Movie.org is building their catalog at a crazy fast rate. Other new additions today include the awful 1992 Pierce Brosnan movie The Lawnmower Man, which is named after a Steven King story it is absolutely not based on, a parody porno called The Da Vinci Coed, and an old Japanese bondage movie called In the Realm of Sex.Another of today’s new additions is Dr. Jekyll and Mistress Hyde, which they’ve filed under Newage Erotica since it came out in ’03. The 88-minute movie seemed to load smoothly before blocking me out with an error message, saying I’m not allowed to use an adblocker while watching. I had to disable my plugins and refresh the page, which naturally made the page a whole lot uglier. A couple of popups assaulted me before I got the movie going again, flipping a couple of minutes ahead so I could see some titties.The spam is definitely the biggest downside to watching Cat3Movie.org, whether you’re just enjoying some violent old monster movie or cranking your dick to old-timey smut. A good anti-spam plugin will take care of all the pop-ups and banner ads, but then you’ll run into the issue of video players that simply don’t work if your plugin is activated. Spam and the plugins that block it are constantly evolving, so there will be good days and bad days for the spam situation here, but you’re almost definitely going to have to deal with some.I think most perverts, gorehounds and movie fans will find the compromise worth it. Cat 3 Movie has a lot of weird and kinky shit that’s difficult to find elsewhere. Even when you can find it, you’re going to pay for it either with cash money or by watching ads. You can find a lot of these films on streaming services like Midnight Pulp, which will run you five bucks or force you to watch ads every few minutes. Cat3Movie may give you a couple of pop-ups, but it’s arguably less intrusive than stopping the movies every few minutes to show you commercials.The dirty movies on Cat3Movie.org are softer than what most modern perverts are used to, but fans of vintage erotica already assumed as much. The site’s strength isn’t in the depth of their depravity, instead earning their frequent guests by offering up a wide-ranging catalog of weird old movies and old-timey porno. I recommend a look if you’re into classic smut or you just think Netflix is a fucking bore.